


Beautiful Disaster

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-26
Updated: 2005-11-26
Packaged: 2018-10-27 10:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10807647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: Ron sorts out his feelings for Harry





	Beautiful Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes: "Beautiful Disaster (Live)" is by Kelly Clarkson, from the album _Breakaway_.  


* * *

Everybody thinks they know Harry Potter. Just because he's famous doesn't mean they _know_ him. Just because his screams wake up everyone in Gryffindor Tower whenever he has a nightmare doesn't mean they _know_ how they affect him. Just because they see how powerful he is and how he presents himself doesn't mean they know what's going on inside his head.  
  
 _I_ know. I'm his best mate, after all.  
  
 _He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme, I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I tried to save him  
My whole world would cave in  
It just ain't right  
Lord it just ain't right_  
  
Even Hermione doesn't know the miserable extent to which Harry's life has become. She has knowledge, yes, but she doesn't _know_. She's not there every night to witness the tossing and turning and whimpering that accompanies the horrific nightmares. She doesn't notice the tears behind his eyes when he forces a smile and claims that he's fine. She doesn't feel the pain that he feels because she doesn't _know_.  
  
 _I_ see it. _I_ feel it. Because I'm his best mate.  
  
 _Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Lord would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster_  
  
I'm the one he runs to. I'm the one he trusts. I'm the one who holds him when he cries. He pours his heart out to me and confesses his fears. He's scared he will lose me. He's scared I will die. I don't say anything; I don't need to.  
  
I just listen. That's what best mates do.  
  
 _He's magic and myth  
He's strong as what I believe  
My tragedy with  
More damage than a soul should see  
But do I try to change him  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold me tight  
Baby hold me tight_  
  
When I look at Harry, I see my future. Our future. Maybe we will play professional Quidditch. Maybe we'll join the Auror Academy. We might even settle for stuffy desk jobs at the Ministry. We'll grow old together. We'll die content old men warm in our beds, satisfied with the lives we've led.  
  
Wherever life may lead us, I'll be right there next to him. No evil Dark Lord is going to stand in the way of our happiness. I'll kill him myself, if I have to.  
  
Best mates protect each other.  
  
 _Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
Such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster_  
  
Harry has grown up. We both have, but his transformation is more noticeable. His face has taken on definition; his body ruggedness. No longer is he the little boy who sat across from me on our first train-ride to Hogwarts. He is now a man. His emerald eyes shine bright with wisdom beyond his years. His shaggy black hair is still unruly, but we've all gotten used to it. His clothes fit him very well now. He has grown into quite an attractive man.  
  
Best mates compliment each other.  
  
 _I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm searchin' for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long,  
I've waited so long_  
  
Harry doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't want one. He's got too much going on right now, and he doesn't want to drag anyone else down. He doesn't need to date anyway, I tell him. Nobody understands him like I do. Nobody ever will.  
  
He looks at me and nods. I read his eyes and nod back.  
  
Best mates communicate without speaking.  
  
 _He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the end he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take_  
  
The next thing I know, his lips are on mine. Intensely, passionately, our mouths crash together and our tongues seek each other out. We're kissing and it's insane and odd and oh-so good and I don’t want it to stop. I feel his hands on my face, in my hair, kneading my back, pulling me closer.  
  
It ends and I whimper. He flings his glasses aside, throws me down on the bed, and kisses me again.  
  
Best mates can read minds.  
  
 _Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster_  
  
We hold onto each other tight and gasp for air after making love for the first time. We're both sweaty and sticky and flushed. Green eyes meet mine and he whispers, "I love you, Ron."  
  
I love him too.  
  
So much for being best mates.  
  
 _He's beautiful  
Lord, he's so beautiful  
He's beautiful_  
  
 _Fin_.


End file.
